Wednesday, January 7, 2009 at 4:23am

5:10 p.m. already. Wow, the day sure goes by fast when you don’t get outta bed until noon. I slept 12 hours last night. No particular excuse for being so sleepy other than I’m convinced I crossed over to another dimension in the dream world, and while I didn’t really enjoy the vibe or the scenery, I was far too curious to tap out too soon. What an adventure.

Like most dream states, I’ve returned with only a few morsels of remembrance, but I do recall saying to my travel partner, (I don’t know who it was accompanying me, but I was conscious of someone’s presence) “I have never had a dream like this before…” I was able to look down at my body, and the way I felt about everything was so different, so real.

A few snippits: I was in the shower when I started feeling something crawling at my feet. Before I even looked, I knew it was a spider so I jumped up onto the sides of the tub, held on to the nozzle and sure enough, as I glanced down there were soapy spiders escaping from the drain.

Then I was walking someone’s dog down the road, or rather, there was a dog pulling me down the road. I remember so clearly the tug on his leash, the intense pull… Just as the dog was about to lead me into an unknown, dark forest, I tried to gain control and snapped back on his leash, jerking the dog away from his destination. Apparently not the thing to do because the big brown dog turned around, bared his teeth, and attacked me, biting me in the neck. Just as his teeth were about to sink into my flesh, boom, I’m in another story.

Once again, I’m wandering down a dimly lit path. I turned around and saw an old lover walking behind me. “I miss you!” I cried out. “I’ve never missed you like this before!” In my waking moments I don’t miss him, but then again, he’s not someone I’m destined to share anything more with, not in this lifetime anyway, I know that. But there he was, trailing along in my footsteps.

Cut to me standing and looking out a window, yet again followed by my mysterious guide. As I peer out at the night-time view, I see my family’s house on Bonavista Dr. in Cornwall, PEI. I was overwhelmed with a sense of longing. I miss home.

When I finally mustered the wherewithal to rouse myself from my slumber and end my scrooge-like journey, I could barely open my eyes. I looked into the mirror, and it was no wonder as my eyes were swollen to look like golf balls; one of those inexplicable ‘allergic’ reactions that happens to me once in a blue moon. An aversion to pixie dust, perhaps? Ha. Needless to say, I cancelled my job interview. It’s nervewracking enough trying to sell yourself and make a first impression, let along squinting at your surveyor through swollen lids. Just wasn’t meant to roll that way today.

So what am I to take from all this? 

Spiders are meant to be the “weaver of dreams” – a symbol to remind us that our lives can move in many directions, but it is up to us to do the work and choose the path we desire.
Dogs? A loyal companion, leading me down a dark, unknown trail. Why am I resisting? Maybe I do need a kick in the pants, or a bite in the neck as the dream would have it.
Then there’s my familiar old lover, and my old family home? Are these appearances just representative of the comforts I yearn for? Someone to love me? Some place to call home?
As the swelling subsided and I was able to open my eyes wide enough to face the day, I decided it was time to wander the streets of my new city. I was perusing a funky, little art gallery on Elizabeth St. and when I saw a print depicting a scene from Halloween, I felt another pang of longing. Even though I’ve found myself missing the snow recently (I never, ever, ever thought I would say that) and I thought I could do without a full on winter, I just can’t see my life playing out in the absence of autumn.

It amuses me how often I set out to accomplish things with one task on my agenda, and the further along I go, the more it becomes clear to me I have an entirely different set of priorities and lessons to learn. (“You wanna make God laugh? Tell him your plans.” says John Bradley) This trip was supposed to be about saying goodbye to winter, hello to surfing and here I am, 4 months in, haven’t had the urge to set foot on a board and surprisingly missing the sense of accomplishment that comes from trudging through a cold winter day – the feeling like you’ve earned it.

The kangaroo and emu are two prominent Australian animals used to symbolize the country’s motto of moving forward – you see, neither or these animals can actually move backwards. Maybe that’s all I came here to do? Get my head on straight about which path I want to head down. Get some balls big enough to brave the dim route through the forest. Onwards and upwards I gather. I also find it interesting that I’ve been in this city for less than a week and on an average of about twice a day, I get asked for directions…I guess I look like I know where the hell I’m going, even if I’m just as clueless as the rest of them. 

Push my way through another day and see what Sleepy MacGee has to teach me tonight.

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